A multitude of life experiences have helped me grow into the man I am today. The world is my country. The bodies of water spread all over its surface are my true home – the one place where I feel complete in body and soul, not at odds with anything, serene, elegant, and handsome.
Looking out at the snowy and, admittedly, romantic winter scenery in Zurich, I find myself thinking of far away places. All my life I’ve dreamt of living abroad. I’ve dreamt of wide open spaces, of being closer to wild nature. Thankfully, I’ve been there in the past and hopefully will find chances to venture out again in the future.
I still remember staying in the heart of the Rocky Mountains and feeling vibrantly alive.
The air was crystal clear. Walking to work through the crunching snow in the morning, a hot latte in my gloved hands to keep them from freezing, a quick sip here and there, sweet waves of momentary heat, my steaming breath… I loved walking up that mountain, seeing deer on the way, literally tasting the wilderness all around me. So exciting. True quality of life.
Or that day when we kept the fire going, wrapped up snuggly in five layers of clothing, sipping cold beers with the surrounding, icy forest crackling, the nearby river gurgling away, Inuksuks along its banks, sparks igniting within and around us…
Then there was life in the Maldives. Daily immersion in the Indian Ocean. The seafloor invisible, a thousand meters below. Feeling unchartered territory at my fingertips. Removing my mask and taking my regulator out on purpose at thirty meters depth to taste and feel the amazing living entity that we call ocean and absorb a little bit more of its strength…
On May 28th this year, a dream came true: I published my memoir ‘Paralian’. It hasn’t been an easy journey. Far from it really.
But, I appreciate the intensity of the experience.
I haven’t sold thousands like I naively hoped to, either. Instead, I was reminded of why I began writing my story in the first place – for the love of writing and to share something important.
I’m cherishing the enthusiastic sparkle in my reader’s eyes. Even the youngest couldn’t put Paralian down once he began taking the book firmly into his tiny hands.
For me, 2017 will be another year of working hard, writing, and dreaming… I’ll take baby steps. So many dreams…
Thanks so much for your support during the last few years. Thanks for continuously being there and believing in me!
I wish us all a less dramatic 2017 – a year filled with good experiences, happiness, good health, hugs, abundant kindness, bright smiles, kisses, starry skies, and daring dreams. Much love xx
My intensity has always been my greatest strength. But it has also always been my greatest weakness. The line between passion and obsession is razor-thin…
Like recently, I finally woke up and realized I was making myself miserable by pushing way too hard to get my book out there.
I forgot to remember the most important part of this journey:
Writing Paralian had been a dream ever since I was a kid. I worked hard and made my dream come true. Writing this book was an awesome journey in and of itself. In the end, it really doesn’t matter how many people read it. It doesn’t have to become a bestseller. Many people I care deeply about have already read it – and even better – enjoyed it.
I gave it all I had. Now I’ll let nature take its course before I lose myself and become someone I am not.
I’ll keep on writing… at a slower pace. Stories about life, what it means to be human… tales that will make you laugh out loud and touch your heart when you read in the train, tears rolling down your cheeks, catching your breath, making everyone in the carriage wonder who the loony is who is riding into town with them. Or maybe you’ll never see my next books. And that’s ok, too.
I’m finding the joy in writing again. For myself. Then there is the joy of being myself. No labels. No constraints. Just the wide open sky and a whole planet – offering dreams, destinations, and a myriad of possibilities. Life is good. And art is not an emergency 🙂
Paralian won its first literary award today. “Best Debut Book” in the 2016 Rainbow Awards!
More info on the awards and all winning categories here: http://reviews-and-ramblings.dreamwidth.org/4932973.html
Big heartfelt thanks to the organisers and judges!
I’m stuck at home with a painful case of pink eye right now. Then snuck a peek at the glaringly bright screen of my laptop this morning against doctor’s orders… As you can imagine, seeing the unexpected winners’ rainbow brightened my day considerably 🙂
Paralian is a heartwarming, inspirational tale for everyone out there wo has ever had to face seemingly insurmountable obstacles or is facing them now. It is an odyssey to remind ourselves of the beauty of our existence. No matter how hard it might get at times, everything is possible.
Good stories touch you so deeply, your heart rate accelerates. You feel enchanted, glimpsing the entire meaning of existence for the briefest of moments.
I’m addicted to finding those kind of tales. It can be anything from true life stories to fantasy. Be it immersing myself in 3D cinematic bliss, watching movies at home, binge-watching TV series, or devouring book after book.
I don’t want to be educated too bluntly, don’t want a narrow view of existence. Instead, I want to read about all kinds of backgrounds. I want to be surprised, taken on adventures. I want to broaden my mind and be able to identify with the main characters to such an extent, I disappear for a while, imagining myself in their shoes so thoroughly the “real” world fades away.
Lately, dabbling in writing stories myself, these are the kind of unforgettable journeys I want to take you on as well. I began by sharing my own odyssey in ‘Paralian’… now what to do next? I can’t imagine only writing about being trans. It would mean going right back into the prison I escaped from so many years ago. Wide, open horizons are what I crave, what I’ve always craved…