Tag Archives: #amwriting

What Really Matters

2006 drawing dive briefing

One of my favourite moments. All is quiet on the boat. The divers are basking in the sun whilst I am in my own creative space, visualizing the landscape underneath the waves… to bring it alive on a chalk board for the dive site briefing. I loved calling everyone closer around me, telling my boat-full of enthusiastic divers what wonders of nature I hoped to show them that day. I loved how at one I felt with myself and with the ocean all around me. Over the years, the daily hours in the sea shaped my body as well as my mind… I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. When I guided my divers, I loved to see everyones’ eyes sparkle with a vividness that only comes from pure bliss and fulfilment. Life is simpler down there. Politics, egotism, posturing, stereotypes, assumptions… they all disappear when we are far out of our element, yet surrounded by beauty.

Reflections

8f5becc0-31fa-46b0-8e16-081d9d7c34cf

2018 was a tough one. I even thought of giving up a few times. Life still isn’t easy… when is it ever… but, throughout the more recent challenges, I surprised myself with a whole new level of grit and appreciation for this wonder we call life. 

I’ve been forced to reevaluate many things this past year. What is right? What is wrong? To what extend are my thoughts and values my own, or rather societal conditioning? How open-minded am I? How far can I stretch my limits? Are they even limits or rather an imaginary boundary, an illusionary safety zone, behind which may lay pain but also a whole new level of understanding, love, and adventure? Most likely, definite answers will forever elude me, but I appreciate the challenge. For challenges trigger growth.

Thinking further, 2018 wasn’t all bad.

It began with an unforgettable, last (for now) spring in Zurich, surrounded by the best circle of friends and colleagues anyone could hope for.

During these last few months in Europe, I had the privilege to be invited to give presentations as an inspirational speaker in Paris, Zurich, and Berlin. My dad attended one of those presentations. In an impulsive moment of passion I’ll never regret, I thanked him for all he has done for me in front of the entire audience, and let him know how much I love and appreciate him.

In June 2018, I moved back to Macau, rediscovering this tiny Southeast Asian alcove with fresh, loving eyes.

Throughout the year, I experienced extraordinary kindnesses, thoughtfulness, and loving support from my precious circle of friends around the world.

I am hopeful concerning the days ahead. There are so many places still to be seen, adventures to be experienced, creative projects to be realized. So bring it on 2019. I’ll tackle you with as much lightness of being and positive energy as I can muster.

At Hong Kong University

IMG_5213

On 16th of November, I experienced a different kind of speaking engagement. A friend of mine invited me to be a guest lecturer during one of her classes at Hong Kong university. I was delighted to have the privilege to listen to her presentation on cross cultural communication in the event industry. Then even more delighted to be able to share some of my international experiences in a variety of different industries with her students. Everyone was highly engaged and curious. And, I was reminded of how much I love and miss teaching.
There is a special kind of satisfaction in sharing and helping others grow.

The Silver Box

little roundabout

Two weeks ago, Macau was hit by Typhoon Mangkhut. It was a turbulent day with wind speeds matching those of a decent, medium-sized car on a German highway. The village where we live was flooded and, consequently, things moved. Sofas, old chairs, trees, and various types of heavy debris meandered to and fro. The ocean took over the streets, creating surge and currents where usually tourists would amble along, brandishing selfie sticks and nibbling on Portugese egg tarts.

This year, the damage wasn’t as bad as had been expected. Soon all the debris and mud were cleaned away. Only a couple of broken trees remind of what happened.

And the big, shiny, silver box.

A recycling receptacle.

Standing askew in the middle of our romantic roundabout.

It was there before, but a few meters to the left, just in front of the bushes. I’ve been watching this box closely. Every other day, when I throw away the garbage, I wonder if I should just grab the thing and move it myself. Admittedly, I’ve even tried. But it’s too heavy to move for one person.

Sitting at my desk, writing, I catch myself staring out the window, eyeing the silver box.

Each time a city worker walks past I think, “Yes, yes, you must see this, right? This big silver recycling container, standing askew, crying out for you to move it?”

The workers are not even glancing at it as they walk past.

The front doors of the recycling box are busted now. Pet bottles, plastic, and glass have started to spill out. The silver garbage monster is regurgitating what it was forced to digest.

Each day, around 2pm, the garbage disposal truck arrives. A group of workers start picking up cardboard and garbage bags. There I am again, cheering them on in my mind, thinking, “Yes, yes, look right ahead of you. Yup, now a little bit to your right. The big silver thing you almost ran into.”

Nope… off they go, oblivious.

Two city workers came to clean up yesterday afternoon. They swiped a little around the Ying and Yang symbol on the floor, threw most of the garbage into the bushes, then sat down to rest. They leaned against the silver box, a couple of old pet bottles rolling around between their legs.

I looked out the window, more hopeful than ever, “Yes! you must notice those bottles between your legs. Maybe you’ll turn around and notice the doors to the box are busted. Then, maybe, it’ll click and you’ll realize the flood has pushed this ugly contraption away from its original position.”

But all my attempts at mind control failed yet again. The workers lit a cigarette, chatted for a while, then flicked their cigarette butts in a high arc over the silver box, got up, and walked away.

I still feel the urge to go down there and push with all my might.

Instead, I’ve now decided to exercise self-control and rather wager on how long it will take until someone moves or removes the silver box. Considering it’s been 14 days already… I’m thinking it’ll take at least 6 months. Great training for me to let things go. Ohhhhhmmmmmmmmm.

One Step At A Time

IMG_4554

In April 2010, I put this Buddha on the rooftop overlooking the small communal terrace of our apartment building here in Macau. I remember sweating buckets, my arms feeling as if they were being ripped from my torso, and silently wondering what on Earth had possessed me to volunteer to help my landlord wrestle the almost 70 kg heavy statue to the very top of the building. In the end, I was a bit proud of myself. Now, 8 years later, he still looks so comfortable. Keeping watch over the village, he silently sits there, weathers scorching afternoons and powerful typhoons. Never wavering. Always greeting us with a smile when we come up for a bit of fresh air or a sip of wine.

Beginning of this week, I was supposed to start work for a new show. However, immigration allowed fewer foreigners to work for this spectacle than expected… so my search for a backstage job in Macau continues…

Being upstairs on this beautiful terrace at sunset, I am not too sad. I smile back at Buddha, feeling energetic and ready to get back to writing full time on my second book. There is so much to do. I’ll work hard on my own projects while keeping an eye out for any opportunities that might come along. It’s a bit scary sometimes, not exactly knowing what the next months will bring… but it’s also exhilarating to take life one step at a time and try to make the most of it.

Ready for Round Two!

IMG_4242

After three months in Macau, we just moved and – it’s almost too good to comprehend – are right back in the apartment where I used to live. Amazingly, when we moved in, even my old desk was still here!!! This is the view from said desk… on which I already wrote so many papers, notes, and drafts. Well, here goes for round two!

Here Is Where It All Began

IMG_4024

The other week, I went back to our old house on Lamma Island in Hong Kong. Here is where it all began. This was our garden… and behind those windows on the ground floor was our orange-coloured living room… featuring a small table on which I wrote Paralian. One of the happiest years of my life!