Monthly Archives: June 2020

Little Challenges

IMG_1103

Only 6 more days until I’ll be on my way! I’m getting quite excited and a bit frazzled. As always, the closer the date comes the more it seems like time is racing way too fast, and there is still quite a bit to prepare and test.
One of the toughest things in organizing this trip has been to find a solution for carrying my meds. Being transgender, I need to give myself an intramuscular injection every 20 days. Testosterone doesn’t grow on trees unfortunately, and it can’t just be bought over the counter either. On top of that, it should be kept in the fridge so it stays stable. Yet, I’ll be hiking in mid-summer in France and Spain, with temperatures most likely spiking up to 30 and 40 degrees Celsius…
Almost all travel refrigeration systems I looked at were useless to a hiker since they involved little ice boxes which were way too heavy and large.
Then, friends of mine (thank you Maggi and Abel!) alerted me to pouches for travelers which are being sold in Australia. There are crystals sewn into the sides of these pouches and when you put them in cold water for a couple minutes, the crystals turn into a cooling gel, which stays cool through evaporation and keeps meds safe at 8-10 degrees Celsius for up to 50 hours… by which time I’ll need to find a cold creek again to re-dunk the small pouches and re-activate them.
I wasn’t able to order these fantastic little (and also light-weight!) travel essentials in Australia, but ended up finding out that, nowadays, they are being produced in every country. As you see, the pouches have arrived and are ready to go. Nothing’s gonna stop me now 😉

The Irreplaceable Magic of Live Entertainment

heartbeat

Since the Covid19 lockdown began in Germany, on March 16th 2020, I am couchsurfing… and trying not to go mad.
Here, the borders have opened again on June 15th. But, mostly, I am still on that couch, until next week, when another chapter begins…

Have you been splurging on culture as well during Covid19 lockdown? During the day, I try to be productive. I write, read and watch webinars. In the evenings, I splurge and relax. I watch shows, circus, ballet, operas, theater, and concerts, (as well as tons of movies, and TV series). It’s been my lifeline.

The creative process is so important. As is the collective experience of live entertainment (I do count movie theaters in that, too, even though, of course, actual live shows are the full monty).

When I watch a recorded show online, I try to forget everything else around me. As I begin to watch on my little MacBook Pro screen, I turn off the lights in the room where I’m sitting, put my earphones in, and turn the volume up high to shelter myself from any real-world interruptions. Then, my eyes glued to the screen, I try to forget that I am sitting on a couch all by myself. I try to feel the uncomfortable auditorium seat (preferably in dusty, vintage, red velvet) underneath me, wriggling around to find the right position to be able to enjoy the next two hours without needing a butt or spine replacement after. I try to hear the excited chatter and whispers in the auditorium before the curtain lifts, try to envision the stage, try to see the technicians and performers hiding in the wings, ready to go and do what they love. I try to transport myself to the actual performance. I soak in the vibrations of the concert hall or show venue and smile when the magic on stage unfolds and the virtual audience around me applauds.

In the end, during bows, when a full house of spectators jumps out of their seats for a standing ovation, when applause is rolling through the venue like thunder, I laugh, with tears in my eyes, hoping with all my heart that sooner rather than later I’ll be able to work backstage again. I can’t wait to stage manage shows again to do my little part in contributing to the magic.

And in my private life, I want those concerts, shows (and sold out movie theaters) back, too. I want to throw myself into cultural life, dress up, make an evening of it, feel those goosebumps again, and the elation that always comes when witnessing greatness, heart, and soul on stage.

You Never Know Until You Go

Hiker by Pavel Pesek on Unsplash

by Pavel Pesek, Unsplash

Last year, in one fell swoop, I lost everything… the love of my life, my family, my home, my cats, my job, and all my savings. I did my best to survive. Then, just as I thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, the Covid19 pandemic hit us all.
During lockdown, I had time to think about what had happened. As the enormity of it all began to fully sink in, I crashed. I worked through the pain. And I decided to not only survive but to keep remembering fondly, to keep being kind, to keep following my dreams, and to keep making the most of things.

So what do you do when you’ve lost everything and you’ve got nowhere to go? Why not take the time that is given, embrace the homelessness, and get walking?

After some research, I decided on the the E4 European Long Distance Path. I will start my hike in Brugg, Switzerland on 6th of July 2020. And then, we’ll see…
The goal is to enjoy the journey, travel slowly, be aware, and completely open for whatever may come. I am a stage manager by trade. I miss working for shows (a lot!). Getting back to doing what I love is one of two goals. The other goal is to enjoy walking and living on the road for now until I do get that job offer. This may mean walking for one week, or two…. walking for one month, two months, or six months… or even longer. If no job offers are forthcoming this year at all, then in January 2021, I should reach the garden of my good friends in the Quinta do Chocalhinho in Odemira, Portugal. In this case, I might spend the winter in Portugal… and write a book about this journey.
Who knows… these are all just ideas, not definite plans. I’ll take things day by day, step by step. I’ll be super flexible, always ready to continue walking or to, at a moment’s notice, take a bus/train/plane towards my next professional challenge backstage.

I am as curious as you as to how this will unfold!

Make the Best of It

boo on bed ready for more snuggling

Update from the Lake Constance Writing Front:
Over the last few months, I’ve had so much to process, learn, and overcome, I ended up being not by far as productive as I’d have liked to be. Still, I alternated writing short stories and articles for various platforms, worked on my blog, kept developing the story of my 2nd book, watched stage management webinars, and sent application emails out into the world. All this whilst sharing this comfy couch with little Boo who always faithfully waited for me to return and get back to work whenever I left our shared living space for a moment.
As a stage manager, like so many of my peers, I’m out of luck at this time. Nobody is hiring… yet. But I’ll keep writing emails, just to remind people I exist… in the great hope that one of these days, this year, or next year, when shows open up again, I’ll get an email saying, “Hey, are you still available. We want you!”
In the meantime, now that European borders are slowly opening, I am planning a long-distance hike.
There is the idea of a final destination, but I want to keep my options wide open. I’ll most likely start walking beginning of July. If the pitch for my new book gets accepted, I’ll write on the road to meet deadlines. I’ll take walking breaks when I find cozy, affordable shelter and will keep working on that book. Even if my manuscript does not get accepted at this time, I want to keep writing whilst on the road. Continue with my articles for TheaterArtLife, continue with my second book…
A travel blog comes to mind as well…
Plus, I am wondering if I can combine doing something good for myself with doing something good for others… maybe do some crowd funding and donate money to performing arts organizations around the globe who really need it. “Walk for the performing arts” or something like that… (let me know if any of you have any practical suggestions and ideas for this. Please PM me).
What I will definitely keep doing as well is to keep writing applications to shows worldwide whilst I am exploring the great unknown.
And thus the duration of my hike will largely depend on when a backstage job will become available to me. I might walk for only a month, then get an offer, and head to wherever it is I am needed. Or I’ll be walking for four months, five, six… who knows. It really isn’t so much about reaching the final destination as it is about letting those feet and thoughts roam freely, as it is to knock something off my bucket list (a long-distance hike has been on my mind for decades), as it is to stay active and creative.
At the moment, everything is so greatly uncertain and even more unpredictable than usual. Many of us have no idea when we’ll be able to get back to work. Some of us, like me, are homeless on top of it and have been couchsurfing for many months. I’ll embrace that homelessness and make the best of it… and in case I get injured or I’m just not up for it, I can stop walking at any time, and get back to couchsurfing somewhere… Continue from there…
Everything is possible.
I’ll do the only thing I can at this time, and do it with vigor:
I’ll go with the flow.