Tag Archives: #ocean

Pinocchio

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The biggest treasure underwater lies in the shallow depths of the coral reefs. And in the simple joy of softly gliding along weightlessly, being just one more unassuming organism within the endless depths. I love the wild beauty underneath those waves. The myriad shades of turquoise and blue. The diversity of ocean life all around me. Everything, big and small. Most of all the small critters you only see if you dive in slow motion, all your senses tuned to pick up the tiniest movement or irregularity around you.

We called this little Frogfish Pinocchio. He sat in his sponge for several months. On this particular dive, I watched him for sixty minutes as he braved the currents that shook his chosen home. Spreading his foot-like pectoral fins. Balancing himself so delicately… with a split that would have made Jean-Claude van Damme proud. I returned several times. We kept blinking at each other until, one day, he was gone. Instead, other mysterious creatures took his place. The oceans. A neverending source of wonder and, for me, a lifelong love affair.

(Photograph by Aquaimaging, 2005)

An Intricate Microcosmos

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“I often hovered motionless and watched the coral reef for a while, contemplating reef fish behavior. Each organism was busy defending its way of life. Tiny fish would attack divers the moment we ventured too far into their territory. There were all kinds of characters: the camouflaged, the timid, the curious, the bullies, the cowards. Some were defensive, others aggressive. As I watched the busy shuffling and posturing on the reef, I saw an intricate microcosmos, a perfect metaphor of human social life and daily struggles.” (excerpt from Paralian, chapter 24 “Indian Ocean”)

Bucket List

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What will the future bring … ? I don’t care much about amassing material wealth but, oh wow, my head is spinning just thinking of all the points on my bucket list…

The seven most important ones have been fulfilled already:
– travel the world and live abroad
– become a professional scuba diver
– spend lots of time underwater
– write a book about my life journey
– find my soul mate
– be truly myself
– be happy

But may I be greedy? There are quite a few more points on that list tickling my consciousness:
– write many books
– travel to all Pacific islands
– travel more of the world
– spend more time underwater
– see Galapagos
– learn to fly a plane
– jump out of a plane (preferably with a parachute)
– find a tiny house somewhere at the ocean
– escape the grind by keeping a low standard of living
– have less instead of more
– give a TED talk
– make a real difference
– never stop living life to the fullest

Lots to do then, looking ahead. And of course to not forget to enjoy the present with all my heart, too!

Salt on my Skin

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One week since I got back from the Red Sea… I still feel the gentle swaying of the boat under my feet, salt on my lips and skin. Need to get back to the ocean soon!

Heading into Cerulean Blue

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A long-awaited vacation is coming up… this exhausted author urgently needs two weeks of sunshine and ocean! But before I head out, I wanted to extend a BIG THANK YOU to all of you.
These past 10 days, you’ve all helped so much to push my Bored Panda story.

Because of your support, your multiple shares, likes and up-votes we’ve managed to reach 10’000 people so far!!! That is incredible. I’m humbled. Thank you for caring and being there!
It seems it still wasn’t quite enough to reach the numbers Bored Panda requires for a featured story. But it doesn’t matter. We did our best and got farther than I ever dreamed possible. People are still looking at the page as we speak.

I received countless messages, ranging from heartfelt thank you notes for sharing my story, to people seeking advice, to others writing scorching hate mail. Well, as a professor of mine used to say, “Nice doesn’t cut it. Only if people either love it or hate it have you truly touched a nerve.” It seems we have. And I’m glad we did. Together, I believe, we’ve made a little bit of difference.

So now Paralian is packing his bags to go underwater for a little while. Gliding stealthily amongst reef fish and predators like I used to – at one with myself and the world. I’ll be exploring new territory. The Red Sea is calling. Can’t wait to dive into its cerulean, invigorating depths!!!

Close Encounters of the Ocean Kind

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2008 green turtle on surface

Another small excerpt from Paralian… a once-in-a-lifetime moment… experiencing my first close encounter with a sea turtle in the Maldives:

“The Green Sea Turtle rose slowly to the surface. I floated, staying completely still… Her head softly broke the surface only fifteen feet away from me. She took a deep breath, which sounded almost like a reverse sigh.

The gorgeous animal stayed floating comfortably on the calm water surface of the lagoon. Meanwhile, I let myself drift carefully closer. She was beautiful, a creature of the ages, perfect since the beginning of time. I closed my eyes to paint the image in my memory. When I opened them again the unearthly turtle lady was right next to me, still enjoying her rest on the gentle turquoise waves.

The long five minutes during which she stayed with me etched themselves forever into my heart. The turtle’s large eyes held a tranquility and innocence I had never before encountered. With an unwavering gaze, she seemed to see straight into my soul.

Her colors were myriads of green. Her scales reminded me of autumn leaves. Did I see a net of barely visible, fragile veins, or did my enraptured mind imagine them? What if they were nerve endings, letting her feel plankton and every droplet of the sea that touched her? Feeling everything, she would literally become one with the seas embracing her.
Small barnacles held on to her carapace. I envied them and wished I could trade places for a little while. Could there be a better place to be than perched on the strong back of a sea turtle?

She took one last, long breath and descended leisurely towards her underwater domicile. I swam back to shore in a dreamlike state, happy, and almost delirious….
The ocean was my true home. Now that I’d found it, I intended to consciously absorb every precious second I spent embraced by it.”

The Boy Who Knew

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1974 sylt keitum

As a child I knew instinctively… trapped within this little girl’s body was a little boy… and that’s who he’d always be…

“Each summer, I couldn’t wait to get back to the ocean. The sand dunes seemed to traverse the island like mountainous, slow-gliding golems. More than anything, I longed to reclaim my freedom. As little Stefan, tiny but sinewy and bronzed, I would sit in the sandbox for hours, baking sand cakes and building castles. Soon I would find friends and we would have sack races along the beach or explore the shores of the dark blue North Sea as pirates. The beaches gleamed as golden as if the many grains of sand under our feet consisted instead of millions of sparkling stars. We felt sure our secret treasure chest couldn’t be hidden far away.  For a few summer vacations, I remained the adventurous pirate Stefan, feeling free as a bird and more myself than ever before.”

Excerpt from Paralian – Not Just Transgender

Turbulent Seas

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Another short excerpt for you from Paralian. I was only days away from saying goodbye to my Indian Ocean home when a group of experienced divers and I were out on a full-day boat trip to a neighboring atoll. Then a storm hit us full force:

“… We clambered back onboard, which was no small feat, considering the heavy scuba equipment on our backs and the heaving deck. As we secured our equipment, Captain Ibrahim moved the boat towards the edge of the atoll. Maldivian dhonis aren’t built to brave stormy seas. Their flat-bottomed keels are constructed to enable them to slip easily over shallow reefs.
“The heavy waves we are experiencing now, are nothing compared to what’ll await us once we leave the shelter of the atoll,” a resigned Esa explained.
In good weather, crossing the channel of deep ocean between the Noonu and Lhaviyani atoll usually took two hours. There was no telling how long it would take us in this tempest. We briefly considered waiting out the storm and taking shelter in a harbor right where we were. Then our captain made the decision to forge ahead.
The full seriousness of our situation finally hit me as I watched Captain Ibrahim clutch the steering wheel. In all my time on Kuredu, I had never seen a captain afraid. Captain Ibrahim was the best, utterly fearless and wise, way beyond his years. He now held on to the steering wheel for dear life, his body language radiating tension, his knuckles white from the strain.
Our small dhoni was lost in an ocean of giant waves. Either watery walls rose up before us, or deep troughs opened up behind us…”

Want to know more? Grab your own copy of Paralian as paperback or ebook at any of the following online stores: Amazon, Waterstones, WHSmith, Troubador UK, Apple iBooks store, Google Play, Nook, Kobo, etc. Thanks in advance for diving in!!

Immersed

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2009 last snorkel with nico

“I finally reached the shore, out of breath and delighted, longing for more and feeling intensely alive. I had glimpsed boundless strength and passion within myself. For just an instant out there, in the arms of the Atlantic Ocean, I had felt beautiful.” (Excerpt from Paralian, Chapter 7)

I remember seeing the ocean for the first time when I was around four years old. Discovering the ocean changed my young life. It was a revelation. I threw myself into the cold churning waves, balloon-like arm floats encircling my tiny arms. Goose bumps quickly covered my entire body as I savoured the taste and the sensation of a living entity enveloping my body. My soul felt rested and at home while at the same time sensing danger and fragility. Whatever might happen to me in the years to come, I would always draw solace and strength from the ocean.

Gently lapping waves, roaring rapids or anything in between, any body of water has an immediate impact on my emotional state – I change, grow stronger, more focused. My heartbeat slows to a steady, comfortable rhythm. Even just dipping my toes, I am home, respectful of my environment, yet fearless, vivid, and at one with myself.

I love the power and unpredictability of this life-giving element. I love its beauty, it’s million hues of turquoise and blue, the way the sun’s rays break when trying to penetrate deep below. Like a million sparkling stars the warm reflections dance in tune to their own ballet of life.

Especially gliding weightlessly underwater, I feel in tune with this blue symphony. Clumsy on land, stumbling, unsure of myself, and perpetually awkward within my own body, I transform as soon as I am in the powerful arms of my blue home. Underwater I am graceful. I feel self-assured, handsome, completely at ease with the world and with my entire self. As I glide along the reef, I watch the interactions of the sea creatures amongst each other. I surrender to the waves and currents, working with them rather than against them to get where I want to go. As I let the ocean move me along, I glimpse answers, verve, serenity, awe, happiness… and, as my every day worries fall away from me one by one, life is put into perspective. I find myself with a twinkle in the eye (both eyes really), breathing deeply, doing somersaults underwater, glad to be alive.